Over a year ago, I started to feel starved. I felt that my spirit was starved. I had such a hunger and craving to have relationships with godly women. To be able to come together over the common bond of Jesus. So...a ball started rolling and I sat idly by and watch the ball roll and gain speed and then, as Asher says, the ball went down, down, down, down.
The last few months I have been DEVOURING devotional books. Lysa TerKeurst is one of my new favorites and of course Beth Moore is phenomenal. I feel so connected with these women that I have never met except on the pages of a book. I long so much to feel that connection with other young women face to face.
The more I have thought about "what I need" in my spiritual walk I realize I have become a spectator in my relationship with Christ and with other Christians. I am waiting for someone else to initiate contact, to start the ball rolling. I am waiting for some spectacular sign that Jesus is present, that he wants to meet with me. I don't need a spectacular sign everyday, I have His Word and His promise that he desires a relationship with me.
I have worked hard for everything I've had in life. My parents provided me with many opportunities, but I had a choice to take advantage of the opportunity or allow it to pass me by. Today, I will chose to take advantage of the opportunities afforded me. I will not let them pass me by. I will chose to wake up each day and be awesome for God's glory.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Monday, January 14, 2013
Choices
Well, I have started several blog posts over the last few months and maybe posted 1.
Jana=horrible blogger :(
I always have so much to say, but want to say if perfectly. I want someone to read my blog and be moved, to feel like they can conquer the day. I don't know why I feel like this. Maybe because I read so many other blogs that make me feel that way and I want to contribute. So I think that if I just start fresh and write about whatever I want, whatever is going on at the moment, updating our family adventures and goings on and maybe I will maybe reach someone in some way.
This year instead of making a New Year's Resolution about weight loss or physical appearance or anything tangible I decided to do something for my "insides."
My 2013 New Year's Resolution is to make better choices. Everything from the things that I allow myself to read, watch, eat, think and say. I'm going to chose to be better. I'm going to chose to be happier. I'm going to chose to love more. I'm going to chose to eat healthier. I'm going to chose patience and kindness and gentleness.
I know I'm going to fall short, it's human nature, but I will chose to get back up again. I will not let one failure ruin this year and this resolution for me. Already, I have seen victories and failures. I have made choices to spend time with the Lord instead of reading my "for fun" books. I've chosen to lash out at a loved one instead of swallowing my words before saying them. Each day I will have a choice to be victorious or be defeated. I am hoping that as the year goes on I will see more victories than failures and that a heart change and perspective change will start to happen. I hope that things will turn around for my little family. I hope that this year will bring many more blessings than last year, but I hope that when trials come I will chose to respond with thanksgiving and praise.
Yesterday's sermon was about rejoicing and giving thanks through trials. Wow, did this hit home. I sometimes feel like my world is crumbling around me and more times than not I cry and whine and complain and never seek God. Our family went through some rough things in 2012, but it could have been worse. We are very fortunate to have a loving and supportive family. We never went without anything...How selfish of me to think my world was crumbling when there are so many who go hungry and homeless. I was reminded yesterday that I have one thing I can always be thankful for, my salvation. I may go through trials here on earth, but I have a loving God who is preparing a mansion in Heaven for his children. The greek word in 1Peter 1:6 for rejoice has a feeling of excessive or exuberant joy. I looked up what exuberant means; joyously, unrestrained enthusiastic. Peter says to GREATLY rejoice.
Even as I'm typing this, my two year old climbs into my lap just to give me a hug. How can I not rejoice for what God has given me on earth AND what he is preparing for me in eternity.
Today, I'm going to chose to be thankful for my day with Asher and that I will get to spend one last evening with my parents before going back to Maryland.
God is good and I can rejoice in that!
3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, 5who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
Jana=horrible blogger :(
I always have so much to say, but want to say if perfectly. I want someone to read my blog and be moved, to feel like they can conquer the day. I don't know why I feel like this. Maybe because I read so many other blogs that make me feel that way and I want to contribute. So I think that if I just start fresh and write about whatever I want, whatever is going on at the moment, updating our family adventures and goings on and maybe I will maybe reach someone in some way.
This year instead of making a New Year's Resolution about weight loss or physical appearance or anything tangible I decided to do something for my "insides."
My 2013 New Year's Resolution is to make better choices. Everything from the things that I allow myself to read, watch, eat, think and say. I'm going to chose to be better. I'm going to chose to be happier. I'm going to chose to love more. I'm going to chose to eat healthier. I'm going to chose patience and kindness and gentleness.
I know I'm going to fall short, it's human nature, but I will chose to get back up again. I will not let one failure ruin this year and this resolution for me. Already, I have seen victories and failures. I have made choices to spend time with the Lord instead of reading my "for fun" books. I've chosen to lash out at a loved one instead of swallowing my words before saying them. Each day I will have a choice to be victorious or be defeated. I am hoping that as the year goes on I will see more victories than failures and that a heart change and perspective change will start to happen. I hope that things will turn around for my little family. I hope that this year will bring many more blessings than last year, but I hope that when trials come I will chose to respond with thanksgiving and praise.
Yesterday's sermon was about rejoicing and giving thanks through trials. Wow, did this hit home. I sometimes feel like my world is crumbling around me and more times than not I cry and whine and complain and never seek God. Our family went through some rough things in 2012, but it could have been worse. We are very fortunate to have a loving and supportive family. We never went without anything...How selfish of me to think my world was crumbling when there are so many who go hungry and homeless. I was reminded yesterday that I have one thing I can always be thankful for, my salvation. I may go through trials here on earth, but I have a loving God who is preparing a mansion in Heaven for his children. The greek word in 1Peter 1:6 for rejoice has a feeling of excessive or exuberant joy. I looked up what exuberant means; joyously, unrestrained enthusiastic. Peter says to GREATLY rejoice.
Even as I'm typing this, my two year old climbs into my lap just to give me a hug. How can I not rejoice for what God has given me on earth AND what he is preparing for me in eternity.
Today, I'm going to chose to be thankful for my day with Asher and that I will get to spend one last evening with my parents before going back to Maryland.
God is good and I can rejoice in that!
3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, 5who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
Monday, August 13, 2012
Fleeting Life
This weekend we spent time traveling to visit friends and family in Georgia. It was a special occasion to hear Kenny's grandfather preach for the first time at age 74. The sermon topic was "Life is Fragile."
It wasn't until I layed in bed putting Asher to sleep, the words from the message washed over my soul. I realized how much I rush through life. Day to day I find myself rushing through everything. How quickly can I get Asher down for his nap so that I can take care of things that I want to do? How many times have I left him to play by himself so that I can check my unimportant emails, or catch up on my missed tv shows? Even rushing through the days and weeks until its time to see my family again, instead of enjoying each day that the Lord has given me with my sweet baby and my husband. Each day is perfect in its own way. I know this in my heart, so why is it so hard to just slow down?
Laying in bed beside my sweet baby boy, whose not such a baby anymore, I realized that God has given me such a precious gift in Asher. He was not a plan of Kenny's or of mine, but God planned for us to have him at this time. He will not be a baby, or even a little boy for very long. He wont give me his sweet baby kisses, run to me with arms wide open, or cry because he just wants to sleep with Mama and Daddy for much longer. It makes me sad to think about the day that its no longer "cool" to spend time with Mama or give hugs and kisses. I need to slow down before my life disappears and I've missed out on the important things.
Here's just a nugget of scripture that I need to meditate on and remember when I let life get so busy that I dont take time out for what's important.
whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. (James 4:14 NKJV)
Asher and Jordan playin'. Their gonna get married some day.
CP and me. I'm so thankful that we still have a good friendship even though we're so far apart.
Danielle (Kenny's cousin) and me. A sunday with family.
Asher and Nana(Kenny's grandmother)
Asher playing with Danielle.
My sweet baby boy, playin' with his cars.
*Takin' it easy*
It wasn't until I layed in bed putting Asher to sleep, the words from the message washed over my soul. I realized how much I rush through life. Day to day I find myself rushing through everything. How quickly can I get Asher down for his nap so that I can take care of things that I want to do? How many times have I left him to play by himself so that I can check my unimportant emails, or catch up on my missed tv shows? Even rushing through the days and weeks until its time to see my family again, instead of enjoying each day that the Lord has given me with my sweet baby and my husband. Each day is perfect in its own way. I know this in my heart, so why is it so hard to just slow down?
Laying in bed beside my sweet baby boy, whose not such a baby anymore, I realized that God has given me such a precious gift in Asher. He was not a plan of Kenny's or of mine, but God planned for us to have him at this time. He will not be a baby, or even a little boy for very long. He wont give me his sweet baby kisses, run to me with arms wide open, or cry because he just wants to sleep with Mama and Daddy for much longer. It makes me sad to think about the day that its no longer "cool" to spend time with Mama or give hugs and kisses. I need to slow down before my life disappears and I've missed out on the important things.
Here's just a nugget of scripture that I need to meditate on and remember when I let life get so busy that I dont take time out for what's important.
whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. (James 4:14 NKJV)
*Takin' it easy*
Monday, July 9, 2012
Love Like Woah!
Well, its been a while. We have been so busy the last few months. I finished my last year of teaching. Wrapping everything up was bittersweet. This year I only taught one class, but it was so clear to me that God picked each of my students to be part of this class. This made it so much harder to say goodbye, knowing that I won't see each of their sweet faces next year. I am glad, however, that I will get to spend more time at home with Asher and maybe, finally feel like a wife and mother. It is very true that a teacher's job is never over. I will be glad to not spend every evening grading papers, taking notes and making lesson plans.
Asher and I were fortunate enough to tag along on my parents vacation. We spent a whole week in Florida. Anytime a beach is involved I'm a happy camper. Asher is definitely my child. He loved every minute of it. Even now, three weeks later, he talks about the beach and the ocean and his shovel. We can't wait to get back! It was even more special for him to spend that time with his Gigi and Papa. Just last week Asher spent time with his second cousins from Georgia. They had a blast. The past two days he has gone upstairs to look in the extra bedrooms checking for them. I hope he remembers this time forever!
Kenny and I just celebrated our third wedding anniversary. We are still living in his grandparents basement, which we thought we would spend a maximum of 6 months in. I am so grateful to them for allowing us to live here, and I'm even more grateful for the time and love they've shown to Asher and myself. They treat me like their own and Asher will forever have a special bond with these great-grandparents of his. Asher turns 2 in just a few weeks and Kenny and I fall more in love with him everyday. We just can't imagine having another baby to share this love with. We have been fortunate enough to spend a lot of time with our little man, and while we wouldn't trade it for the world, it makes us very leary to have more children. In our heads we know that it wouldn't be fair to make Asher an only child, he's too social, but we don't feel like our hearts could handle it. I joked with him today that I needed therapy before we have another kid because of the extra-special bond Asher and I have. Its amazing how much you love them the minute their born and how it continues to grow exponentially as they do.
It always amazes me how God plants passages, studies, verses, books in your way at just the right time. I've been reading A Heart Like His by Beth Moore.(http://www.lifeway.com/Product/a-heart-like-his-hardcover-P001069369) I love everything she writes! As anyone who has done her studies knows, she doesn't miss the details. Thus far in this study on the life of David, all I've gotten is the "back story." I've learned all about Samuel and Saul's rise to kingship. I found it interesting, as I've been searching my heart to make room for this hypothetical second child, that I would be reading about how Samuel came to be. His mother, Hannah, was tormented by her husbands other wife because she had no children. Hannah begged God to give her a child and promised to offer him back in service to the Lord. Hannah became pregnant with Samuel and after three years with him, she took him to the temple to be a servant of the Lord. He was raised by the priests for the rest of his childhood. http://www.youversion.com/bible/1sam.1.hcsb
There is so much to be gleaned from this passage, so many questions I can ask myself. I can't imagine going through years of trying to have a baby and never succeeding. I was "lucky" enough to not have to try. I can, however, imagine that I would be willing to promise anything to God in the moment so that he might deliver on my request. Would I follow through though? Could I be faithful to God as he is faithful to me? Would I make good on my word and my promise? Especially after getting to spend three years with my baby! I know after experiencing just two years that I couldn't give Asher away. How many times do we make promises to God to do something we know we should, or stop doing something we know we shouldn't. Only to find ourselves doing those things just days later. What if God's promises only last as long as ours did? What if his promise of eternal life had an expiration date on it?!? WOW! How different would our lives be! Isn't that the great thing about grace and mercy. God gives us what we don't deserve (salvation and eternal life) and saves us from what we do deserve (eternity in hell and separation from Him). This is what salvation is all about, second chances. A second chance at life everlasting. It reminds me to be thankful that I don't have to WORK my way into heaven, I can simply accept the free gift!
Asher and I were fortunate enough to tag along on my parents vacation. We spent a whole week in Florida. Anytime a beach is involved I'm a happy camper. Asher is definitely my child. He loved every minute of it. Even now, three weeks later, he talks about the beach and the ocean and his shovel. We can't wait to get back! It was even more special for him to spend that time with his Gigi and Papa. Just last week Asher spent time with his second cousins from Georgia. They had a blast. The past two days he has gone upstairs to look in the extra bedrooms checking for them. I hope he remembers this time forever!
Kenny and I just celebrated our third wedding anniversary. We are still living in his grandparents basement, which we thought we would spend a maximum of 6 months in. I am so grateful to them for allowing us to live here, and I'm even more grateful for the time and love they've shown to Asher and myself. They treat me like their own and Asher will forever have a special bond with these great-grandparents of his. Asher turns 2 in just a few weeks and Kenny and I fall more in love with him everyday. We just can't imagine having another baby to share this love with. We have been fortunate enough to spend a lot of time with our little man, and while we wouldn't trade it for the world, it makes us very leary to have more children. In our heads we know that it wouldn't be fair to make Asher an only child, he's too social, but we don't feel like our hearts could handle it. I joked with him today that I needed therapy before we have another kid because of the extra-special bond Asher and I have. Its amazing how much you love them the minute their born and how it continues to grow exponentially as they do.
It always amazes me how God plants passages, studies, verses, books in your way at just the right time. I've been reading A Heart Like His by Beth Moore.(http://www.lifeway.com/Product/a-heart-like-his-hardcover-P001069369) I love everything she writes! As anyone who has done her studies knows, she doesn't miss the details. Thus far in this study on the life of David, all I've gotten is the "back story." I've learned all about Samuel and Saul's rise to kingship. I found it interesting, as I've been searching my heart to make room for this hypothetical second child, that I would be reading about how Samuel came to be. His mother, Hannah, was tormented by her husbands other wife because she had no children. Hannah begged God to give her a child and promised to offer him back in service to the Lord. Hannah became pregnant with Samuel and after three years with him, she took him to the temple to be a servant of the Lord. He was raised by the priests for the rest of his childhood. http://www.youversion.com/bible/1sam.1.hcsb
There is so much to be gleaned from this passage, so many questions I can ask myself. I can't imagine going through years of trying to have a baby and never succeeding. I was "lucky" enough to not have to try. I can, however, imagine that I would be willing to promise anything to God in the moment so that he might deliver on my request. Would I follow through though? Could I be faithful to God as he is faithful to me? Would I make good on my word and my promise? Especially after getting to spend three years with my baby! I know after experiencing just two years that I couldn't give Asher away. How many times do we make promises to God to do something we know we should, or stop doing something we know we shouldn't. Only to find ourselves doing those things just days later. What if God's promises only last as long as ours did? What if his promise of eternal life had an expiration date on it?!? WOW! How different would our lives be! Isn't that the great thing about grace and mercy. God gives us what we don't deserve (salvation and eternal life) and saves us from what we do deserve (eternity in hell and separation from Him). This is what salvation is all about, second chances. A second chance at life everlasting. It reminds me to be thankful that I don't have to WORK my way into heaven, I can simply accept the free gift!
Friday, February 3, 2012
Where Does Time Go?
Well, I have been one busy Mama...with no time to do the dishes or the laundry let alone spend time on the computer writing about life. I'm trying to keep my head on straight teaching a high school biology class, running my own softball business and to top it all off I was crazy enough to sign up to sell Mary Kay. What was I thinking?
With every thing going on I don't get to spend much time reflecting on all the activities we are involved in. I am starting to realize how quickly Asher's life, and my own, are passing me by. Before I know it he's going to be driving, going on dates, moving away to college and getting married. He's growing so fast I want to pause time and just hold him right where he is. I want to keep his sweet, slobbery kisses forever. I want him to always dance like the most "gangsta" baby ever and be so excited when he sees me.
I'm not someone who is a sap for corny life quotes, but having a kid truly is living with your heart outside of your body. I never could have imagined and I surely can't imagine what life would be like without him. It makes me very hesitant to ever have another baby. Kenny thinks he has the perfect solution to this...just wait till he's 18 to have another. YIKES!
So, my goal right now is to try to soak up every moment I get to have with my precious, sweet little boy. I don't want him to watch him grow up and feel like I never slowed down to enjoy him. In this day and age slowing down will probably prove more difficult than I think.
With every thing going on I don't get to spend much time reflecting on all the activities we are involved in. I am starting to realize how quickly Asher's life, and my own, are passing me by. Before I know it he's going to be driving, going on dates, moving away to college and getting married. He's growing so fast I want to pause time and just hold him right where he is. I want to keep his sweet, slobbery kisses forever. I want him to always dance like the most "gangsta" baby ever and be so excited when he sees me.
I'm not someone who is a sap for corny life quotes, but having a kid truly is living with your heart outside of your body. I never could have imagined and I surely can't imagine what life would be like without him. It makes me very hesitant to ever have another baby. Kenny thinks he has the perfect solution to this...just wait till he's 18 to have another. YIKES!
So, my goal right now is to try to soak up every moment I get to have with my precious, sweet little boy. I don't want him to watch him grow up and feel like I never slowed down to enjoy him. In this day and age slowing down will probably prove more difficult than I think.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Too Busy
Wow! We have been way too busy in this house. I started teaching a biology class, I've gained 3 pitching students and a whole team taking hitting lessons. It is nice to stay busy, but when I don't get a day of rest from all of our craziness I have a huge meltdown!
Asher is the busiest 14 month old I've ever met! He is in to everything, he climbs on everything, he explores everything. He is the ultimate adventurer. He still isn't talking, but he tries to say words. The most understandable being car and dog. He also knows the sound a car and dog make. He is a dancing maniac! ANY music that comes on he's dancing. He loves to play with musical toys and anything that can make a lot of noise. He is becoming much more self-sufficient. He climbs in and out of chairs, up and down off the couch he even gets himself in and out of the bath tub. I can't believe my little baby is growing so fast. I'm so thankful that he is a cuddler and enjoys our evening routine of laying on the couch together while he drinks his bottle. I definitely understand now that you don't think you could ever love another baby as much as your first. It makes me scared to have anymore kids.
Kenny is working at a pawn shop and doing really well. He's such a salesman. We're also trying to find a house to rent so our lives can be a little more organized.
That's everything going on with us lately. I thought that once our busy travel season was over things would slow down, but I was VERY wrong!
Asher is the busiest 14 month old I've ever met! He is in to everything, he climbs on everything, he explores everything. He is the ultimate adventurer. He still isn't talking, but he tries to say words. The most understandable being car and dog. He also knows the sound a car and dog make. He is a dancing maniac! ANY music that comes on he's dancing. He loves to play with musical toys and anything that can make a lot of noise. He is becoming much more self-sufficient. He climbs in and out of chairs, up and down off the couch he even gets himself in and out of the bath tub. I can't believe my little baby is growing so fast. I'm so thankful that he is a cuddler and enjoys our evening routine of laying on the couch together while he drinks his bottle. I definitely understand now that you don't think you could ever love another baby as much as your first. It makes me scared to have anymore kids.
Kenny is working at a pawn shop and doing really well. He's such a salesman. We're also trying to find a house to rent so our lives can be a little more organized.
That's everything going on with us lately. I thought that once our busy travel season was over things would slow down, but I was VERY wrong!
Asher was the ring bearer at a friend's wedding, he's the man!
Mommy and Asher took the Gator out for a spin. We had to take advantage of the pretty day, we may not get many more.
All three of us dressed up at the wedding. It was so neat for our whole family to be a part of it. Thanks Jess and Ryan!
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Life Goes On
I am so thankful that even when we don't chose God's perfect plan for us he still works things out for our good, to bring glory to himself.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. {Romans 8:28}
When I make mistakes, God can use them. When I choose the right thing, God uses it.
It is so hard to know when you're hearing God's voice or when its your own fears, frustrations, anxieties getting in the way. I read recently that so often we spend all of prayer time doing all of the talking and we never take time to stop and listen to what God has to say to us. God's voice is so easy to miss, its so quiet that its easy for my own voice to drown him out. No wonder his word tells us to "be still." His voice is like the barely blowing breeze, gently rustling the leaves of the trees. Sometimes its loud and clear like the winds of a hurricane, but so often it is not that easy to hear.
Its even harder to hear his voice when I have a toddler running around. How do you get time to sit still and listen? How do you find time to meditate on His word? I guess this is where my "time management" skills need to start being used. Its funny I can find time to wake up early and work out to take care of my physical needs, but I don't spend any of that early morning time taking care of my spiritual needs. Hmmm, maybe its time for some change. If I can wake up 30 minutes earlier to get my run in, what's an extra hour to get my spiritual jog on?
So, I'm thankful. Thankful for God's guidance. Thankful for His truths. Thankful for God's Word. Thankful that God can use my "ranting" in this blog to make lightbulbs go off :)
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. {Romans 8:28}
When I make mistakes, God can use them. When I choose the right thing, God uses it.
It is so hard to know when you're hearing God's voice or when its your own fears, frustrations, anxieties getting in the way. I read recently that so often we spend all of prayer time doing all of the talking and we never take time to stop and listen to what God has to say to us. God's voice is so easy to miss, its so quiet that its easy for my own voice to drown him out. No wonder his word tells us to "be still." His voice is like the barely blowing breeze, gently rustling the leaves of the trees. Sometimes its loud and clear like the winds of a hurricane, but so often it is not that easy to hear.
Its even harder to hear his voice when I have a toddler running around. How do you get time to sit still and listen? How do you find time to meditate on His word? I guess this is where my "time management" skills need to start being used. Its funny I can find time to wake up early and work out to take care of my physical needs, but I don't spend any of that early morning time taking care of my spiritual needs. Hmmm, maybe its time for some change. If I can wake up 30 minutes earlier to get my run in, what's an extra hour to get my spiritual jog on?
So, I'm thankful. Thankful for God's guidance. Thankful for His truths. Thankful for God's Word. Thankful that God can use my "ranting" in this blog to make lightbulbs go off :)
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