Perception

12/15/10
It amazes me how a baby with no real means of communication knows exactly how to make you feel better. As I sat on the couch crying because Asher was being particularly difficult to deal with, I explained to him why I was sad and that I knew it wasn't his fault. His eyes turned very serious and he gently touched my face between his two precious little hands. Of course in that moment everything that was bothering me didn't seem to matter anymore, in the moment everything was right with the world and I remembered that I have nothing to complain about. Parenting is probably the hugest challenge life has thrown me and it becomes very easy to "do it on my own." I get so caught up in wanting life to be "normal" and Asher to know how to make himself okay that I could be missing out on little blessings that God is putting before me. I have to learn to find joy in the chatter between crying fits and in the smile that greets me every morning and for the little angel that will be attached to my hip at least until he starts driving.

Thank you Jesus for crying babies and time spent alone with them!
"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His love endures forever" Psalm 136:1


Beyond Blessed,
Jana <><

A little depressing

Could this week get anymore sad? It's only Tuesday! My heart is hurting for Katie and her loss. I can't imagine suddenly losing my brother. I can't imagine being prepared to lose my brother either. Too often I take for granted that I can pick up the phone and call Brandon and he'll answer, or I can send him a funny text and get the exact response I expected. Praise the Lord that we can turn to Him in our times of need, when we're sad, when we're angry, when our heart is breaking. I'm so thankful for my Rock and my Salvation. I'm praying that Katie can feel that comfort today and that each day her pain would be a little less.
Not much else to say...I'm glad I have a little ray of sunshine sleeping away right now.

Beyond Blessed,
Jana <><

Fleeting days

None of know how much time we have left on this earth and while those of us who have salvation through Jesus can rejoice that we will spend eternity in Heaven, it is a sobering thought. We should never live in fear of what may or may not happen. Jesus came that we might have life abundant, so why not claim that abundant life? I look at Asher sometimes and wonder, why do I get to be a mother? Why do I get to experience this joy? Why do I experience the hurt that he will leave me someday? I truly believe now that the emotions that a mother feels give us glimpses into what God feels when he looks at us. He feels overwhelming love, love that is so big, so strong, so powerful that it hurts to breathe. Disappointment when we disobey Him... I realize now more than ever that of any emotion God may feel toward His children, love is the greatest. I understand now why the greatest commandment is love the Lord your God with all your heart with all your soul with all your mind. Just as a child loves their parents unconditionally so a parent loves their child the same way. We love nothing more as children to win the approval and love of our parents by being obedient to them. It makes so much sense now. Since my days are like the blink of an eye, I am going to try to live in the moment. What does worrying about tomorrow add to today?

Beyond Blessed,
Jana <><

Too fast

Asher finally rolled completely over on his own. Of course it happened just hours after we had dropped Kenny off at the airport. These are the things I've been so afraid of...missing firsts. I'm sure that in the spring when I spend 10+ hours on the road to and from softball games that I will miss firsts. Praise the Lord for technology that can record every memory. We have been waiting for this day for at least a month. He would get so close! His bottom half would be flipped over and he couldn't figure out the top, then he would get everything over and couldn't figure out how to get his arm out from under himself, then he figured out he needed to use that other arm to push himself up! Its amazing to see their progression and how they figure things out. He did the same thing with blowing raspberries. He would try and try so hard, now he's a pro. It also shows me how much they pay attention to us, even at this young age how much we influence them. Today Asher is four months old. It seems WAY TOO FAST! He's too big and too grown already. I wish time could just slow down so he would stay my precious, babbling, smiling, raspberry blowing bab forever. :(

Date Night

Kenny and I went out to dinner sans Asher for the first time since mid-July. We enjoyed a wonderful Tex-Mex dinner at Gringos. YUMMO! It was like being a teenager again. We laughed and goofed off and didn't have to worry about getting Asher riled up and not being able to calm him down. There was a family sitting at a table near us with a "new" baby, probably two months old. It made us sad that Asher is not that little anymore. He's growing up so fast, it seems like just yesterday we needed to help him hold his head up and be so gentle when putting him into bed for fear of him waking up. Now, he's so easy to get to sleep and is so good at staying asleep. I don't have to go to bed as soon as I put him down because he will sleep all night. It is the biggest relief to know that I don't have to wake up every two hours to feed him. He was so well behaved for Gigi and Tada. He watched half of Toy Story 3 before bath time and dinner and then down for bed. Such a big boy!
Tomorrow will be his first Thanksgiving. His first major holiday. I can't wait for him to taste mashed potatoes! I don't know if he'll like them or not, but he can't have Thanksgiving and not get a little taste of mashed potatoes. Next year he'll get to move on to the turkey. At this time last year I was so oblivious to what was about to happen. I had just had my wisdom teeth out and thought I was having nausea as a side effect of my pain medicine. I took a pregnancy test the day after Thanksgiving and it was positive. I was freaking out! Kenny and I had only been married for 5 months. We learned to deal with it and now we are blessed beyond measure. I wouldn't trade Asher for anything in the world. Its funny how things seem like accidents, but they are really perfect blessings from God. He knew exactly what Kenny and I needed...something to be thankful for!

Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving

Beyond Blessed,
Jana<><

Update from Houston

We are beginning to have success with the cereal! This picture was taken two days ago and as you can see there is a decent amount of cereal on his face instead of in his mouth. Today we had almost no cereal on his face! Tomorrow we get to try oatmeal and hopefully he likes that better than the cereal. He has not done a good job of convincing me that he enjoys the taste of the cereal, but he is his father's son and I don't think food is going to be something he says no to.

Asher is becoming such a big boy! His Gigi (my mom) bought him this toy and he shouldn't be able to play in it yet, but he loves it. He is extremely fascinated by the spinning frog. I think he has a thing for the color green. Friday night his Uncle B had a green jacket on and he couldn't take his eyes off of it.

I am so thankful for the time I'm getting to spend in Houston with my family. I can't believe we are going to be here for two months! The hardest part is going to be when Kenny leaves for three weeks after Thanksgiving, but he will return! Few people can truly understand what it is like for your parents to live this far away. If only it were a MUCH shorter drive, but 24 hours in a car with a 3 month old would not be pleasant. I know, though, that if its what God wants he will move us closer. In the meantime, I just have to pray for His guidance and peace and acceptance of our current situation.

Beyond Blessed,

Jana <><

Educating Baby

Yesterday was Asher's 4 month check up, even though he's not quite 4 months yet. We were given the OK to start feeding him rice cereal. We've had a terrible time with acid reflux and are hoping that the cereal might help keep the milk in his tummy. He has no problem taking it from the bottle, the spoon is a totally different story. He makes a horrible grimace as if its the most disgusting thing that has ever been put in his mouth, moves his tongue around a bit and then spits it out. I don't think he's even swallowing any of it! This is one of the most frustrating thigs I've ever done. I know it is "teaching" him how to eat like a big boy, but shouldn't they already know? I guess I just want to snap my fingers and him be able to eat big boy food. Oh well. I guess until he becomes a pro with a spoon he will have to get some of his cereal in a bottle. If he's anything like I was as a baby he will love fruit and hate veggies. Kenny and I are contemplating buying a baby food cooker. Its a big expense at first, but I know it would save us money in the long run. It may be a little tough for us because of our living arrangements. We have no convenient place in the basement to "make" baby food and running up and down the stairs to clean bottles is a big enough problem. Anyone reading have thoughts/suggestions on this?

Beyond Blessed,
Jana <><

My Big Boy

Our 4 month check up was today, even though he is only 3 1/2 months. He is 17 pounds and 27 inches. I know that his height is off a little, Kenny and I measured him last month and he was 27 1/2 inches. Oh well, doctors aren't perfect. For the first time ever Asher fell asleep before 9:00 pm. This is why I'm able to blog. Asher keeps up with his Mama and Daddy and usually stays awake until 10:30 or 11:00. By the time he gets to sleep I'm exhausted and there's no hope of getting any housework done and not having to play baby entertainer.
We are traveling to Houston in just three days and will be gone for two months. How do you pack for a baby for two months? By the time we get ready to leave Houston he will be almost out of his 6 month clothes, especially at the rate Asher is growing. I am hoping that my super healthy parents will help me get on top of losing this baby weight. I came home from the hospital 35 pounds lighter than when I was admitted and I haven't lost a pound since. I've done everything I can think of aside from surgery or diet pills which I don't believe really work. Have you ever noticed that their labels say when used with diet and exercise? I'm pretty sure that you would get the same results from diet and exercise alone. Anyone reading this that has suggestions on how to safely drop baby pounds, I would be more than happy to hear what you have to say!

Beyond Blessed,
Jana <><

Brand New

So... I am brand new to this blogging thing, but I have several friends who do it. I have always wanted to be able to eloquently put down my thoughts and ideas. I don't know how beautiful my words will be, but I'm sure it will be none the less therapeutic.

I recently re-watched a new favorite movie of mine, Julie & Julia, which inspired me all the more to start this blog. Similar to Julie, I don't care if anyone actually reads the blog, its just nice to get my words out of my head without ever having to say them.

My 3 month old son, Asher Rea, who is the joy of my life is sitting in his rocker trying so hard to blow raspberries. He fails most of the time, but his eyes light up when he finally gets it. He is so full of energy he can't hardly stand it and it is very entertaining for his daddy and I to watch. He is so smart he has figured out that kicking hard enough will propel him out of his bouncer/swing/rocker. Until this revelation of his I was able to sit him down and not worry about whether he would fall out. He is such a big boy and is growing too fast for my "mommy heart" to handle. His first teeth are coming in, the two bottom front. For the most part he has been quite pleasant. The first week we had to alternate Tylenol and Orajel. Then we had a week of nothing, and tonight he decided that they were going to start pushing through again. I'll just be glad when all the drool is gone,. I think it will be weird to look at him and see teeth when he smiles :(  He's just growing up too fast, he might as well be in college already. I've learned very quickly that motherhood turns you into a big sap. I cry at the drop of a hat. Rocking him to sleep at night is the worst because I know I have to put him down and when he wakes up he will be a whole day older. I don't know how mothers leave their babies at home or in day care. I would be so afraid to miss things. What if rolled over, or crawled or took his first step and I wasn't there. I'm so glad that I was able to see his first smile, the first time be sucked his thumb, the first time he grabbed his own feet, the first time he grabbed a toy, his first coos and his first laugh. It takes a much tougher woman than I to go back to work. God has blessed Kenny (my husband) and I with the opportunity to spend most of our day at home with Asher. Things are tough because we are both at home, but we make it. God provides what we need every month. We have food in our mouths and a roof over our head and love abounding :)!

Beyond Blessed,
Jana <><